#15

do you feel you have achieved what you wanted to achieve? I do feel that i have acheived a lot in this class. I walked into this class with little knowledge that i thought was a lot to know about writing. Coming into this class I fpound writing to be difficult but improved my writing skills alot. Would you in anyway change those goals now that you are more familiar with college level writing? Now that i am familiar with the college level writing, I wouldnt change my goals because it i believe that this class, the professor made me a better writer and helped me improve in my weaknesses to a paper. In addition to reflecting back on those goals, you also need to outline how you would like to continue to grow as a writer. What strengths would you like to continue to develop? What are your weaknesses that you know you still need to work on? To continue to grow as a writer, i think i will use the method i recently been using, and thats to brainstorm, make an outline, and write all my ideas and thoughts out on paper because thats what helps me be more creative and help me find a clear thesis for my paper and for the audience to understand. For strengths, I would like to work on expanding my ideas, I have so much ideas for the papers i write just I dont know how to briefly explain them well enough. As of my weaknesses, I need to focus on improving my organization. I tend to write and have paragraphs not in the right order to make my paper more understandable and clear. Another thing would be stating my thesis more clear too. Sometimes I know what my thesis is but hard to write on paper because I dont know how to write. But as i continue as a writer, i will improve on both strenghts and weaknesses.

#13

I analyzed the Free Speech off Campus Must be Protected essay. The author’s strongest points to support his evidence were the examples he brought up, such as the boy who had died from hazing.The author had described himself in this essay as a lawyer. I feel that the author had did a good job briefly explainging both sides of the arguement. Providing a plethora of information, having the reader think a lot of what point he was trying to make. This article had helped me better by argument paper by brefily explaining both sides of the arguements, having a reflection on the artical, and examples that can better the arguementive paper.

#12

Topic: Parents give more freedom to their sons and not their daughters. And I dont agree that parents should be more lenient to their sons instead of both sons and daughters. Thesis: I dont agree of boys having the ability to get more freedom from their parents and their daughters get so little of it. Parents should be protective of both kids and give them the same kind of freedom. Compelling Arguement: Why do parents give more freedom to their sons instead of giving the same kind of freedom to both their sons and daughters? Parents have different mindsets of how to raise their children. There are major issues that stop parents giving their daughters more freedom, such as not being able to trust them well enough, being double standard to their kids, sometimes the race-ethnicity playes a huge role in the families as to why parents are strict, another one could be the media. All these major issues are what keep parents from not letting their daughters out and I dont think its fair because anything that can happen to their daughter can also happen to their sons. Such as a girl getting raped, well a boy can get shot or jumped by a gang. Freedom should be played equal to both bos and girls. Weak arguement: Parents worry over their daughters more because they are not known to be tough and be abke to handle their own business. Parents like to be overprotective with their daughters, expecially if shes their only daughter. I understand parents dont want nothing to happen to their daughters becuase there such good girls and dont deserve any violence. Parents dont think the daughters are old enough to hang out with their friends. This is weak because there isnt much to let an audience know about why parents keep their daughters inside rather than out on the streets. I argue that there should be equal freedom because everyone goes throough something, you can be in the right place or wrong place at the right or wrong time, it still will happen to anyone. Parents need to realize that they should give their trust out in order to see what their daughters can do with it.

#14

For my portfolio I decided to revise my ad analysis paper. I picked that essay because that was my highest grade on a paper for this class, so thought I try and improve it for my final paper. My strengths for this would be describing the ad, giving examples about the ad, and having a strong thesis. My weakness for this paper would be not having a clear organized paper, somewhat irrelevant statements, and run on sentences. By revising my paper, I have decided to work on my strengths by making them stronger, having a clearer thesis, try expanding my description of the ad. By doing that, I have decided to brainstorm on paper, put down all m ideas and descriptions of the ad, and think about what other way I can write a better and improved revised paper. For my weaknesses I will try an improve my organization and havinging concise statesmets. By doing that I will re-read my paper to see if it makes sense to the audience, and gives a good tone. In order for my organization to improve I would have to go through my paragraphs to see which follow which.

#11

in my writing i tend to have a bunch of run on sentence, repeat the same thing in other paragraphs, and having a bunch of ideas not placed in correct order. These three errors I think are my main errors in the paper and they cause a lot of unorganized ideas to be all of over the place. So for the future I would have to spend more time on my papers and really look for the errors and organized my paper much better to recieve a better grade. But at times it gets hard to think how you can anaylze a visual to 5-4 pages, thats why I tend to repeat sentences i have said earlier in the paper.

#10

In a way I think peer review is effective but also feel that it isnt helpful. It can be effective in a way because sometimes the reviewers know what their talking about but then again sometimes they dont. Thats where the less effective in peer reviewing comes in. The reviewers just give us feedback on about what they think should be fixed. When really there is other major errors that have to be fixed, we just dont know which ones. How it can be improved? I really don't know. I feel that for us to get better at our papers and our writing methods, we should be peer reviewing with a person who is professional or has much more experience in writing then some students.I think my strenghts as a peer reviewer would be looking out for the grammar and repeated sentences. When I give feedback I like to tell give an example of how the paragraphs should be organized. But nothing really else. For my weakness, I think finding a thesis and knowing the main reason why the writer wrote the paper. And also finding out the tone of the paper, sometimes reading it silently I cant really specify the writers tone.Like I said I do find it helpful in some ways but then not really. Because you have students who know how to peer review, check for errors, tell you if the paper is good when really it isn't in a teachers point of view. So it could be helpful but then not really in my opinion. I dont think it matters with small or large groups of students, just matters on what the student tells you about the paper and if it really is helpful. The time limit for peer review is fine, its an appropriate amount of time. We get enough time to talk about everyone's paper and recieve feedback on it.

#9

Out of the three assignments we have worked on, I found the advertisement essay difficult. It was very hard to write a 3-4 paper so that the audience can visualize the advertisement without taking a glance at it. I thought it would be one, two, three, and I'm done but I noticed I had spent a lot of time on this essay. And when we usually do peer review so we can recieve feedback, that really didn't help me for this paper. I had to have someone really look over it and get better feedback so I can improve my paper. The easiest essay so far in this class, would probably be the first essay, Literacy narrative. Even though I recieved a horrible grade on it, I still think I had many details and facts for this paper. At first when I wrote this paper I thought I was the only person to write it the way I did, butI wasn't and kind of felt relieved. The peer review group I had then really did well on giving me feedback and reminding me of what needs to be added into my paper. I think I found it easy because it was like a personal experience, so I just jotted down what came to mind for this specific topic. Im not sure why this is so but I think because I was never assigned to visualize an advertisement paper from 3-4 pages. So to really be descriptive and detailed was very difficult to make into 3-4 pages.

#7

Looking back at my first blog, I really thought this class would be somewhat different. Only because of creating blogs. When you first was discussing the blogs, I thought that we would be able to write about anything. Creating a blog was interesting because in a way we did write how we felt about ideas or concepts learned in class. When we recieved our first essay, I thought that I didn't do bad. But getting my paper back and seeing my grade, I was in shock. I did learn alot in this class. What has been helpful in this class, is the examples and concepts that are being projected. Usually when I write I like to just free write get my thoughts out on paper and that's it. But in Ms. Spencer class I was able to either add more descriptive details, coma splices, etc. or just fix my errors on my paper . There isn't much to change about this class. It's a writing class, we learned concepts, write essays, and read. I liked that after a essay, we would go into peer review with our classmates. It was a good thing too because I was able to get feedback back about my paper. It helped out a lot. Since the semester started, I believe that my writing is still the same. But as the essays continue to be assigned I know my writing skills will grow and improve. I can say that I looked at writing a very easy thing to do, but now I find it challenging and being able to force myself to think outside the box. I think that's a good thing. Hopefully my writing skills improve and I become a better writer.

Advertisement

Purpose: By using a weapon, holding an expensie shoe (Jordan), and having a person at gun-point, this ad is making sure people in this world know that you can be killed or robbed just for wearing a shoe brand, such as Jordans, that someone else might want. And you can either fight for your shoes or your life, but it's a dangerous world out there so be careful. 

Audience: This can be appealing to wide variety of audiences. For instance, to the audience who wears these kind of shoes, such as myself. Not only teenagers where syling shoes like this one. There are adults, young adults, teenagers, and babies who wear shoes such as the one in the ad. I don't think it matters on the ethnicity because many ethnicites wear styling shoes like this one. 

Genre: You don't see many ads like this, but I can see why they would have an ad like this up. Couple months ago, a boy was shot buying Concords (Jordan Shoes), the day they came out. This ad helps everyone or anyone who wears stylish shoes to be careful because its dangerous. And you wouldn't want to be killed or robbed for a pair of shoes. That would be a bad choice to fight over a pair of shoes when a gun is pointed at you. ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS!

Tone: The darkness of red and black background, the big bolded white phrase that makes sure you see what the main idea is, and a unidentified person holding up a Jordan shoe and a gun showing negativity and to be on the look out when you wear expensive styling shoes.  

revision paper!

Revision........

My first draft and final draft really didnt have any major differences. When I started writing my paper, I jotted down all my ideas and added a bit of descriptions. Usually when I write papers I tend to struggle with how to introduce the topic. Normally, I like to start off either with a question or jumping right into a conversation about my topic.  So in order for me to revise my paper, I had a classmate look over it and give me feedback on how to improve my paper. I find it much better when there is peer review assigned because you have others looking over your work and maybe try to improve it. I did have a few comma splices, run-ons, and fragments. There was not much of deleting sentences, just reorganizing my body paragraphs and adding much more description in order for the reader to visualize whats goin on in the paper. In my revision, I fixed my conclusion. I realized that a conclusion should not start off as "What I'm trying to say", so I summarized my paper and restated my thesis. After writing my revised paper, I did notice the pattern that I usually do use. I think from now on I should reread sentences so that there isn't much fragments and adding comma splices. I think my strongest aspect would be my introduction in this paper. I really worked on how to make it strong and did a bit of reorganizing paragraphs to see if it makes sense and also have my beginning of the paper strong. The weakest would be my conclusion in this paper. Towards the end I lost focused and words of how to end it, so I had ended it with "What I'm trying to say". But now that I edited, I think my conclusion sounds much better. The peer review helped a lot and brought more out of my paper and showed where my errors where.

A "good" paper

I think what makes a good paper really depends on the person who reads your paper and not having lots of grammar and punctuation errors. It does irritate me when like you work so hard on a paper and your thinking your paper is good but then you get it back with a grade you didnt expect. Some qualities I think make a good paper are Style, Vocabulary, Punctuation, and thesis.

Style: Such as what tense is being used, the point of view, the structure of how the sentence and paragraphs are written. 

Vocabulary:  I believe that vocabulary helps out a lot in a paper. With the level of how high your vocabulary is, you can describe just a simple idea with this big word rather than using the little vocabulary you have had for a while.

Punctuation: this skill also helps out a lot in a paper. Punctuation can help make sure what is said in the paper is clear, such as your sentences.

Thesis: Lastly,I think what helps make a good paper is how clear your thesis is and where it is put in the paper. It is always good to make your thesis understandable and back up your thesis with the correct data. You dont want to have a bunch of different ideas all over your paper.

Assignment number 2 101-10

 First choice being when I had to write a personal statement my senior year in high school. Ifirst thought I would have no problems with it and had time to do it. It turned out, I waited for the last minute to finish up my paper, and I had some difficulities figuring out what I can write about. When the paper was turned in and recieved it back I had gotten a C. was i satisfy? kind of but believe if i managed my time right I could of done better.This topic would be really good to write about because I can express how my feelings were with my grade and the effort I put into my paper.

Second choice, would be about the generations in my family and how different they are. First of all, I would be in first generation of attending college. Both my parents didnt attend college. So i feel that the way they speak with me is how my english is or the way I speak or write. My parents english is poor and they really didnt put much effort into their schooling, so talking about the way my parents and I talk with each other would explain my way of speaking and writing.
Third choice, I can write about is how my high school that I attended, didnt really prepare me for college. Their are many methods professors have to teach because students werent taught the material in high school. Its sad thinking you have enough knowledge to help pull you through with the past semester. When really you have to retake courses that you should have learned in high school.

1st Blog English 101

            I am taking English 101 because it was required to take this class. Though it is required to take, I do believe that I need more improvements on my writing techniques, skills, and gammar. I have always enjoyed writing a plethora of essays because I feel that I can express my opinions and my views of a variety of topics. The thesis in the introduction is one skill I tend to struggle with. I often find my thesis in the second to third paragraph and I don'tknow if that is alright. I would like to improve in that as well.When it comes to writing, my favorite part would be the free write. Free writing lets my mind wander off writing what I feel at that very moment. I don't have to stop and think about what my next sentence will be. I find free-writing much easier than brainstorming ideas because I build up more knowledge about my topic and get more into my paper. I feel that when I write, I don't quite have everything in the right place. I would like to improve in the organization of my paper.

            I walked into this class with somewhat knowledge of writing and by the end of the semester I want to walk out with a passing grade :) and  knowing I gained much more knowledge than I did in the begining of this semester.